In 2003, only 3 months away from my 35th birthday, I was diagnosed with breast cancer (DCIS). It was caught early enough, so chemotherapy or radiation was not necessary but I did have to have a mastectomy to remove all the calcifications that were wide spread. I also opted for immediate reconstruction but it was going to be a long process. I was glad and thankful that I didn't have to have chemo or radiation but the thought of loosing my breast was painful. I had to be strong, my family needed me and with their support I was able to do it.
After the surgery, it was hard to look at myself in the mirror and see that part of my body was missing, nothing there but a big scar. This is a low blow for any woman and my self esteem went way down. I was angry, scared and embarrassed but my husband was great throughout this time. He was always making me laugh and never let me feel sorry about myself and because of him I am able to say that i-wink!
What started as a joke, now means the world to me. When my husband looked at me, he didn't see my breast missing, what he saw was that I was winking at him. It was funny the way he said it and we laughed about it but then I realized that he was right. Later, I was able to look in that mirror, laugh a little more and say, "HEY!! YOU ARE ALIVE, YOU ARE A SURVIVOR, GOOD FOR YOU!!!" and that moment felt really good. It was a breath of fresh air, a new start. I realized that what really mattered was not my physical appearance, but that I was going to be here with my family for a very long, long time. I am grateful every single day of my life and have a new appreciation for all things.
This is why I want to share my story with you, I want you to find the positive in something negative. Sometimes we are so busy complaining and having negative thinking that we often miss the little things that can make it all better. The simplest, silliest thing can have a positive impact in your life. Enjoy every moment you are given, laugh and be thankful for what you have.
And to my husband....you always know what to say!!!! I LOVE YOU!
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